I have done some retail therapy today. I have been struggling all through Christmas because John is no longer here and he always made so much effort to get me all the things I had mentioned during the year. He would store up the information, sometimes quite casually giving, and go on a spending spree in November/December. I would get some on my birthday and the rest for Christmas.
I never managed to get him presents in quite the same way as he often came home with gifts for himself too.
So today I hit the sales and searched for a red dressing gown. Not quite the same colour as the one I had seen earlier in the month but a lovely one none the less and I am classing it as a gift from John along with the hand held dictaphone that I ordered on line. The only thing I forgot to get was a new bag, but as some of the shops were closed I will go back into town another day and hopefully get one I like.
I know that Christmas is not so much about the gifts as the giver and I miss him so much especially at this time of the year.
I know that I have been with my family and that was lovely, but I am beginning to realise how my Mum and Mum in Law must have felt each Christmas after their husbands had died.